Bring it On 2018!

December 31, 2017

Yesterday, I was with a fellow blogger and bestie, Kissa of MyManila Girl, she asked me if I'm going to do this year end post. At first I did not know what in the world a "year end post" is. Apparently, (as explained by MyManilaGirl) it's a post that sort of acts as a reflection of what has happened over the past year. So I'm like, "I can do that" but on the inside I did not know where to begin. 

I was contemplating on everything that happened over the year and what to focus on for this post, then I came across this photobook that was given to me by one of my besties and I was finally inspired.

2017 has been challenging to say the least, it's brought me so much blessings and curses, a lot of downfalls and triumphs. It changed me, I can honestly feel the change within me. It's seriously like the story of Elsa from Frozen LOL. To completely understand this change I'm referring to, let me bring you back to who I was. 

Born out of my anxiety, I had this sort of longing for control. Everyone who knows me knows how "robot-like" I am, every action is well calculated, every possible scenarios, deciphered and prepared, every word spoken is well composed with careful use of semantics,  there's always a plan, there's always a plan B, I always make it a point to get what I want, one way or the other, my standards were awfully high, and you'd often see me with a smile plastered on my face not showing any emotions (other than anger I guess.) I was basically aiming for perfection to say the least and failure is not an option. When I lose it, I, well, lose it.

While that attitude gave me power, authority, strength, respect, everything I want and more. The events of both 2016-2017 made me realized that it kept me sheltered, not in an ignorant sheltered spoiled kid kind, in a keep it in your comfort zone kind of sheltered.

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone" is what people say and this quote basically encapsulates the change I've gone through this 2017. 

With the help of my friends, my partner, and my family, I was able to break free of being a control-freak. It opened me up to a whole new perspective of life. I was able to allow mistakes happen, and learn from it, allow other people to steer control, and go with the flow, allow myself to express who I am, without the worry of consequences, and allow other people into my life

I begin having an appreciation for the smallest of things, I begin to connect with more people in a deeper relationship, I begin to learn how to roll with the punches without losing sight of what's important, I begin accepting challenges and imperfections with open arms, I begin opening up to my family in ways I never did, and I begin going on adventures my former self would never go to.

This is not to say that I've changed completely and have let go of my need for control as it gets me where I want to be, but during 2017, I found a median, between control and letting go. I guess I just realized that I don't need to have it together always, that letting go is essential to my well being, as keeping everything together will only elevate my rage.

I experienced my lowest low during 2017, but with my newfound level of control and carefree attitude, I was able to get back up with ease as opposed to when I just maintained 100% control. That's what life is, It'll bring you down, kick you in the groin, and spit at you, and the best thing to do is to get up and fight back, know that you are not alone, and that life does get better (I know it seems cliche for me to say these but it's true)

With that I would like to thank my friends, for allowing and welcoming that change in myself, for putting up my constant bitchiness, and no BS mouth, and for helping me grow. To my family who's always there to support me and accepted who I am even though I understand how hard it must be for them to accept who I am. Lastly, to my partner of 4 years, who stood by me all throughout, and loving me despite of all my imperfections. Thank you all for making me a part of your lives, I've only to hope that I've changed your lives as much as you've all changed mine.

Here's a salute to 2017, It was an adventure taken, a battle well fought, and a year well spent. I'm so ready for you 2018, bring it on, watch how I make you my b*tch.

Happy New Year Everyone! May the year to come bring everyone joy and happiness.


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